strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
