Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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