Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize