no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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