sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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