i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
