I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
