Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The uberlube is also flammable
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
