the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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