Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
