Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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