go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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