My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
