Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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