the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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