Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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