Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
