My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
