32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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