you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
