we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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