She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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