well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
