when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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