I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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