Small penises have feelings too.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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