so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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