apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
