6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
