get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
