just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
