It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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