i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
