she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it's great music for shaving your balls
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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