u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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