why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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