How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
