i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
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