I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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