is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We are two peas in an std pod
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
