I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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