im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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