I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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