You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
