woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
