dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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