so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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