He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
