Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You pole danced in your parka.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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