hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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