My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
