Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
my liver is dry heaving
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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