We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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