i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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