Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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