Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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