sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
