if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
