We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
