He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize