better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
