Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
