taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
