do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
