For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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