she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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