She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
