Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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